First child next sibling

In plain English:
our first boy has a newborn brother. Luka is the older brother of Tin.
Today, Tin is 3 days old.

The whole family is super-euphoric. We all know what to do.

We named Tin after Tin Ujević, the famous Croatian poet. When I was a high-school graduate, I took classes on Croatian poetry and choose Tin Ujević’s opus as a theme for my final exam. Now you know.

The Christian name of Tin Ujević was Augustin (or Augustine) after St. Augustine. And one of St. Augustine’s influential quotes particularly matches certain modern pedagogy rule:

Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
(Love the sinner and hate the sin)

Don’t judge the person, judge the act.

Instead of
– “You are bad (correct yourself)”
we should communicate
– “That behavior was bad (I love you, but please don’t do that again)”.

Move focus from the child itself to her undesired behavior. This way, the kid is not offended, and she has a chance to re-think her acts.

I hope I’ll remember this next time they cross my boundaries. Kids are adorable.

Marko Dugonjić is a designer specialized in user experience design, web typography and web standards. He runs a nanoscale user interface studio Creative Nights and organizes FFWD.PRO, a micro-conference and workshops for web professionals.

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